Be Careful of What You Ask For
by Miriae
Summary: [Crack!Drabble. Mitsuhide x Suffering. Slight Caesar x Ichihime] Mitsuhide learns the true meaning of being careful of what you asked for.


_**Warning: Lime-ish. Crack. Mitsuhide x Suffering. Mitsuhide fans beware. I suggest you turn back now. Read at your own risk.**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nobunaga the Fool**

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**Be Careful of What You Ask For**

By

_Miriae_

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Mitsuhide flipped the black bangs from his face before fixing his gaze on the three ninja girls in front of him. "Report," he commanded.

Chacha, the tallest of the three, shifted uncomfortably. It was then that Mitsuhide noticed that she was looking uncharacteristically red-faced up to her ears. "Are you sure you really want to know, Mitsuhide-dono?" she asked in a little voice.

He furrowed his brows and flicked his hair. "_Of course_, why else would I assign you to guard Ichihime-sama? It sure wasn't just to keep her company," he replied dryly.

The three ninja girls shared a look of uncertainty. Finally, Gou, the pink-haired girl, sighed deeply. "Ichihime-sama is doing well. Until Caesar-dono came home, I suppose."

The black-haired strategist glared, his hold on his revolver tightening. "What did that bastard do?"

It was now Chacha who replied. "Caesar-dono invited Ichihime-sama for an afternoon tea in the gardens..."

"He baked a chocolate cake! That thing smells so delicious! So heavenly!" Hatsu added excitedly to which she received a nudge from Chacha.

Clearing her throat, Chacha continued. "They were talking about the weather—just talking really until..." she shifted uneasily. "Well...he made Ichihime _stop_ talking."

"Ungrateful bastard!" Mitsuhide growled. "Did he say something that would embarrass Ichihime-sama?"

Chacha fidgeted. "No...actually—"

"He stopped Ichihime-sama from talking by covering her mouth with his mouth!" Hatsu exclaimed.

"I was actually afraid Ichihime-sama might choke or even suffocate," Gou added worriedly.

Mitsuhide could feel the blood drain from his face.

"But Ichihime-sama tried to defend herself. You do remember that she wrapped her arms around his neck," Gou continued with a shake of her head. "I bet she was going to cut off his air!"

"Ah, I remember that!" Hatsu nodded. "But Caesar-dono swept the teacups away from the table causing them to fall and break after right? I think it was to distract Ichihime-sama!"

Gou lowered her eyes worriedly. "Ichihime-sama did not expect to be pinned down the table. Poor Ichihime-sama!"

Hatsu rounded to Chacha who had her palms pressed against her flaming cheeks. "But Chacha said we shouldn't interfere and that Ichihime would be alright! Chacha, I told you so!"

"And so we continued to watch as Caesar-dono attacked Ichihime-sama's neck."

Mitsuhide was trembling, eyes wide. "He was... _kissing_ her neck?

Hatsu cocked her head to the side in deep thought. "Kissing? No..." Mitsuhide was about to sigh in relief until she added, "I think it was more of _biting_... 'cause Ichihime-sama was crying out!" Hatsu's eyes widened in horror. "It must have been painful! But Chacha said we shouldn't interfere!"

Chacha tightly shut her eyes in embarrassment.

"Biting? I'm sure it was more of drinking," Gou countered. "I swear I heard some slurping."

Mitsuhide almost fainted.

"And then Caesar-dono dragged Ichihime-sama to their chambers." Hatsu continued. "We couldn't go in so," she cupped her ears. "We just pressed our ears against the door."

"Kami-sama.. please _stop_.." Mitsuhide croaked in horror.

Gou stroked her chin. "Ichihime-sama said the same thing, Mitsuhide-dono—except I think it was more of _don't stop_."

Hatsu nodded, her eyes wide. "Oh my! I think she was being tortured! Remember the _thud! thud!_ we heard?"

Gou moved away and hit the wooden walls repeatedly. "Like this, Mitsuhide-dono. It was loud."

Mitsuhide was pulling on his hair exasperatedly. "Hatsu! Gou! Stop at this instance! NO MORE!"

Hatsu and Gou snapped their mouths shut. Both then looked at Chacha who had collapsed on the floor.

Finally, Hatsu couldn't stop herself from adding in a small voice. "Chacha was able to peek at the keyhole."

Chacha raised her head, her eyes wide, and her face still very red. "It was... It was... Caesar-dono was..."

"Chacha! SHUT UP!" Mitsuhide warned darkly.

The long-haired girl let out a shrill scream, unable to contain her emotions. "Kyaaaaaaa! He's very _good!_"

Mitsuhide's head hit the wooden table, suddenly feeling very drained, his heart twisting painfully. Weakly he raised his hand, "You three are dismissed." Hatsu and Gou took Chacha by the arms to help her out and they were almost at the door when Mitsuhide added, "And.. stop reporting about those..." He shuddered, "..._activities_."

A furious expression crossed Mitsuhide's face as he curled his fingers on his revolver reflexively. Damn that Caesar! _Bastard_! He would definitely KILL him!

After that, he would also definitely kill Nobunaga—shame on him for being too powerless to allow her sister to be taken by that bastard!

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Caesar smirked as he eyed the door of their bedroom chambers where the shuffling outside had finally quieted. Satisfied, he ran his hand through the hair of the sleeping Ichihime on his arms.

_Apologies, Mitsuhide-dono.. but your spying of Ichihime with your Ninja girls is bound to backfire._

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**The End**

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**Thank you for reading! Please do review!**


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